diaper bag drama

This is my diaper bag. It is a stylish bag and a noble bag. As you can plainly see, it is struggling to stay in one piece. Its days are long, but it rests well at night knowing it has succeeded in a job well done keeping my shit together.

There is no way in hell one diaper bag could ever, ever be big enough to deal with the load that must be carried by a mother of two boys in diapers. My diaper bag is huge and it still can't come close to gracefully fitting everything I need for a simple 2 hour outing. How could any bag possibly fit diapers, wipes, changing pads, changes of clothing, burp clothes, tissues, hats, Cheerios, applesauce, grapes, crackers, bibs, bottles, sippies, and spoons. Plus just a couple basic toiletries for mommy like a backup tampon and a Burt's Bees lip balm. Can't even think about fitting in my past-life favs like lavender facial mist, two shades of mac lipstick, nail file, business cards, cute glasses, iPod, day timer and a pen. Aside from not fitting physically, Gabriel would try drinking the mist and eating the lipstick, Noah would chew the nail file and rip the cards to shreds, Gabriel would throw and break both the glasses and iPod instantaneously, the day timer would be history and the pen would be all over both their faces. 

Every morning I beg the sides of my diaper bag to please expand big enough to shove in all the crap I need for a morning at the playground. It doesn't budge, already pissed off about the forthcoming beating it will take when Gabriel begins mercilessly grabbing at it's every pocket for hidden treasures (read: food) and Noah begins gnawing on it's buckle, sending drool rolling down it's strap. It ain't glamorous, the life of a diaper bag. But it is a life well spent. A life of duty and a life of honor -  toting my shit.  Thank you diaper bag. I love you.