How did I do personal hygiene before baby wipes came into my life? The thought of not using them for my own post-poo wiping is really gross to me now that they pretty much take the place of a shower 1/2 of the time. How could I have ever thought a coupla swipes with regular ole' big people toilet paper actually did the job? I know the truth now, and the truth is that there is still just enough residual crap left behind after a pass or two of dry toilet paper to warrant not just one, but a few more swipes with baby wipes to get the job totally done.
Alrighty then, is that disgusting enough for you? I may sound obsessed with poo between this post and the never poop alone one...because I am. How could I not be? Poo is my world with the diapering of an infant and toddler. Colors, consistencies, sizes, smells and guesses at its contents have become fodder for conversation between me and Gabriel as we deal with his, mine and little Noah's poops.
Which brings me to my idea for the first official event of the Mommy Olympics, should they ever be invented - Poopy Diaper Changing - the goal: effectively removing all offensive poop debri with as few baby wipes as possible. Using only one wipe at a time the competitive mommy would have to get a smashed up poop entirely off the baby's ass without getting any shit on her hands, letting the baby touch the poo or dip its heels into it. Ideally we'd see expert mommies come out of the woodwork tackling this feat with less than 3 wipes, as I've found that is my absolute minimum for a really messy poo.
Sorry so icky, but don't say I didn't warn you. :)