Thursday, January 29, 2009

"You have your period, Mommy?"

I preface this post with the obvious: I have my period. Always something to celebrate when you're as done having babies as I am, and unfortunately not as fixed as I wanted to be by this point in my life. 

Since G is my right hand man, he knows about my period too.  How is he not going to know when he's hovering around the toilet every time I sit on it?  I've only had 3 since N's birth, so it's a new concept G is catching onto. But he wants to be an intimate part of this ritual, so I've assigned him the job of peeling the sticky backing off my pads. (Get your mind out of the gutter if you envisioned tampon insertion.) But then he also insists on placing them in my undies, which pushes my comfort zone just a bit. OMG, how totally almost completely inappropriate is this?! I mean, how too-much-information could I possibly get? This is the stuff that absolutely gets me off: truth in its raw form. Just tellin' it like it is.

Listen. I figure my husband has stared straight into my expansive cooch birthing two of his sons and still not only loves me, but wants me. Why not start his son early in the loving acceptance of and stomaching of Woman's lot in life. Every time 2 1/2 year-old G curiously peers into the toidy during my period, I internally cringe and want to banish him immediately from the bathroom. But then I think, "Hey, maybe I'm helping to spawn a new generation of men who can deal with this shit. Maybe I'm helping him become a supportive and non-squeamish partner to one lucky future woman. He'll be a rad boyfriend, that's for sure."

If you've read the book The Red Tent, you may know that there was a time when women would anticipate the privilege of bleeding together under the same roof. They sat on nests of hay and listened to stories passed down by the elders, were fed by the non-bleeding women, and obviously didn't lift a damn finger the whole time. Man, wouldn't that be great? It feels so unfair to not only birth two children and be menstruating within 3 months of their deliveries, but to also have to breastfeed while on the rag too?  What the hell, man? Aren't I losing enough fluids and draining enough energy? Then add in two pooping butts to tend to and my period is so far on the backburner it isn't funny. I'm just lucky to slip into the shower and give her a soak down once a day. That, and wearing red, are about the best I can do to honor my menses right now.

But both G & N are honoring my period today in the most valuable way a mommy could ever wish to be gifted: with extra long, simultaneous afternoon naps. :)


  1. This morning Skyler said, "Mom, you took your cup out of your..."
    "Vagina," I said, filling in the blank. He's referring to my Diva Cup ( I explained that when he was born he came from the same place. I bet he's wondering what I'll pull out of there next!

  2. OMG Rachel... You are tooooo funny!!! I LOVE it!! I loved reading your blog on 29th Jan hahhaa!! Sorry, it made me giggle cos I feel the same way about the period thing. Kiran checks out what I do when I'm on my period and I'm shy, but maybe he should take part and help me out with the peeling of the pad.. LOL hahhaa I am just imagining G sticking the pad onto your panties...
    I can't wait to read more!