Friday, February 20, 2009

Dare I admit my ignorance

Dare I admit my ignorance...

... to anything and everything outside the realm of immediate motherhood survival. (Okay, I do know Obama's our president) But ask me what the hell the stimulus package is and I'm staring at you blankly. (I guess I do know two things: It's controversial and it's pissing lots of people off)  Night after night my husband comes home and tells me about another 20-30,000 people laid off  in our country and I give him that same stupid stare as I'm desperately swatting G from standing precariously on top of the dining room table while trying in vain to scrape the day old dried up fish off the floor before N eats it. I just can't bring myself to care anymore about even my gossip staples of the past: Madonna, Winona  Ryder and Angelina Jolie. You know Mommy's blitzed when she doesn't give a rat's fat ass about how Shilo is adjusting to Knox & Vivienne. Of course I haven't seen a single Oscar nominated film ~ so this Sunday's Oscars meen squat to me. If it ain't on Netflix, I ain't seen it.

I don't know anything about all the UFO's my husband insists are about to abduct us, the whole Middle East thing was so the 80's for me, and damn if I have the time to understand the bailout, the economic downturn, or the whole financial crisis thing. If it ain't helping me potty train a defiant  toddler or extract snot from my teething baby's pouring nose, I don't know about it. 

I have, however, accumulated some very useful wisdom in my 2 1/2 plus years spent with my head up my ass : Charlie & Lola books by Lauren Child not only entertain my toddler but also actually satisfy mommy's sweet tooth for quirky artistic beauty.  Living amongst all Asians might not be conducive to the most interesting social life, but their perfectly quiet demeanor is perfect for keeping a quiet household when sleeping babies are your priority.  Getting the dreaded dinner dishes done directly after eating, even with baby dragging on leg and toddler pulling Ziplocks out of the box, is far better than having those scuzzy dishes looming over me in the morning when I must nurse, feed, change, clean, wipe, read, referee, shush, shower and blog.

And finally that knowing diddily squat about The Financial Crisis, The Middle East and Angelina's current and supposed babies  helps free up a few more brain cells, ensuring I successfully accomplish my days tasks as G & N's mommy.


  1. I love the Charlie & Lola shows, haven't tried the books yet.

  2. I think you're better off...I try to keep on that stuff and I still have no idea what's going on. Being G and N's mommy is probably a lot more fulfilling.

  3. Top 5 things every Mommy needs to know about the "stimulus" package:

    5) It's over 1100 pages, over $1 TRILLION dollars (principal plus interest) and not one congress person had time to read it before signing.

    4) It has very little to do with stimulating the economy. (Wall Street Journal says only 12% of it is actual economic stimulus) The rest is a combination of wasteful government spending and billions in payback to groups that helped elect Democrats in the recent election.

    3) It was rushed through, but most of the spending it authorizes won't take place for years.

    2) It contains some pretty scary stuff, like the beginnings of socialized medicine, government ownership and tracking of your private health history and records.

    And the #1 thing every Mommy needs to know about the recent "stimulus" package (Drum Roll):

    1) You, your children and their children will be paying off this debt the rest of their lives. (and there are a few trillion more dollars in similar packages in the works).

  4. I get so frustrated watching the news I can hardly stand it, so you are probably better off. I think the whole mess is at least partly responsible for my recent insomnia (I write at 1 am).

    One thing I have to say is that politicians should have NOTHING to do with creating or implementing a stimulus package. Coming from them it is full of ridiculous, wasteful and inefficient crap. The brightest economic ACADEMIC minds our country can scrounge up should be wholly responsible for coming up with what, if anything, we should do. I have never understood how politicians are qualified to do a thing. By definition their only talents lie in being able to shmooze effectively and having the ability to get money from people. In my opinion it doesn't qualify them to do a damn thing.

    I am very much opposed to government involvement in almost every area, aside from maybe public safety, and this bill and the direction it will take us scares the hell out of me. Having worked for and with government agencies I am 100% convinced that you would be hard-pressed to find a more inefficient, bass-ackwards way to get anything done than to involve the government.

    Yes...I think this whole thing is more than a little responsible for keeping me up nights...

  5. Frankly the whole UFO thing has got me upset too. Be sure to tell Hubby that the proper caliber for UFO Aliens is .30 carbine (I have documentary film evidence from the early 1960s to back this up). (It takes exactly five well placed shots.)

    Because we all need to be prepared, that's all I'm saying. We've stockpiled the right caliber for Zombies, which is of course either .223 Rem or .30-06 Springfield depending on if they're fast Zombies or slow ones. And when the economy tanks and UFOs appear in the skies, be assured that Zombies of all speeds will rise and wreak their undead havoc.

    The sad thing is that the price of .30 Carbine jacketed softpoints has gone through the roof in the last few months. Used to be dirt cheap now you're lucky to find it for less than a buck a round. That's a pretty expensive way to defend against an alien invasion, but like a Finnish colleague of mine once said, "Man has to do what man has to do."