uncle, uncle, UNCLE!

I'm waiving my white flag of surrender over here at 5:43 am after approximately 5+ hours of non-sleeping limbo since N's two coughing crying wake-ups. He finally woke me for good at 4:54 am out of this bizarre masturbation dream in which I was hopelessly trying to find a hidden place on a playground to get off. A playground for godssake. First I was precariously lying on a crooked suspension ladder of a Dr. Suessian jungle gym trying in vain to rub myself right. Then I was swinging from some hanging contraption trying again when a little girl came over wanting my swing. Damn, foiled again. Finally I wondered out of the park to a strange porch swing hanging beside a busy road where I frantically stuck my hand down my pants only to have pedestrians come ogling by. Duuuuuuude, can you tell mama needs relief and she needs it bad?! My pitiable dreams are heartbreakingly trying to help a mother out here, and even they with their superpower capacity for morphing reality can't get me there.

So, uncle. There, I said it. Uncle. Uncle. Uncle. I give in. No more fighting the motherhood thing anymore. No more keeping score of what's fairly or unfairly dealt to me in a day's work. And for godssake, no more trying to figure out why anything happens the way it does or does not. 

Just go 'head n' hook me up with that anesthesia tomorrow, clip up my tubies, and bring on that long overdue worry-free orgasm sometime this decade please.