Noah's avocado facial

A million years ago when I was a massage therapist in LA, I worked at the high end Aqua Day Spa in Santa Monica where we had to do stupid and overpriced "treatments" like Cucumber & Milk Body Washes, Spirulina Mud Wraps, and Honey Scrubs. They were the most worthless and messy jokes-of-an-indulgence ever. I felt ridiculous pouring milk over someone lying on a sheet of plastic  covered in cucumber guts, creating a standing swamp around them. The whole food-based body treatments thing just seemed like a big scam, but they continue to be an expensive staple on exclusive spa menus.

Don't believe the hype! You need look no further than our humble kitchen to get in on the fiercest new innovator of food-based facials around: Noah Philippe and his Fantastic Avocado Facial for Younger Looking Skin. Simple: just smear avocado all over face. Then smear some more, and some more. And then rub eyes (due to sleepiness) to make sure you get the mandatory eyelid area. Then grab ears (due to teething) and get the hairline. Make sure to wipe nose (due to snot) for a nostril touch up and...voila! You're lookin' and feelin' a million bucks. :)